Day 47: Friends

Well, when I wrote my post yesterday I was praising technology for its ability to make one feel loved... I had no idea today would bring in such a opposite effect! Today I received a big dose of 'gut punching' news via text and very easily could have allowed that news to infiltrate my day... And while it still weaves its torturing self throughout my thoughts, tonight I will reflect on how happy I am to have amazing friends when shit hits the fan. Friends who offer amazing hugs and safe spaces for tears to fall... tears I didn't think I'd allow to come... words escaped my lips I hadn't spoken aloud. Friends who offer silent support when they know you're doing your best to keep smiling... Ready to be a shoulder if words need to be shared and just as ready to allow a distraction if that is what is needed. Friends who make random stops when headed home from their work to help a gal out, even if the stop was unsuccessful.  Friends who call just to check in. Friends who have mac and cheese ready so the evening doesn't have to be spent alone. Friends who held space without even realizing their presence was grounding and so appreciated.

Life's always gonna cause waves. Thank you to all my friends who anchored my boat to help it from capsizing  this afternoon... and allowing me to fall asleep tonight feeling supported and loved. 

Day 46: Fortune

Today I was fortunate enough to receive numerous texts from friends around the globe. I'm not sure why but numerous people contacted me today simply to let me know they were thinking of me. It seriously made my heart full with glee each time I received a text. Technology has its pros and cons (like anything else) but being able to let someone across the ocean know that you are on their mind is definitely a thing of beauty. I feel very loved and am extremely grateful to have such wonderful souls in my life. Thank you to you all! 

Mind Blown

Today I took a spontaneous class called Access Consciousness- The Bars.  Yeah, it sounds kinda strange but makes a lot of sense after taking the class and receive The Bars protocol. I'm laying in bed reading the manual we were given written by Gary M. Douglas (the founder) and I really felt inspired by some of the things I read and wanted to share them with you!

First off, I read the following sentence and immediately had to stop reading and create a sign for myself, to hang on my wall next, to my door so I will see each and every day that I walk out of my room:

What if today could be the beginning of something different?

Wow! That is ALWAYS a possibility but now I will be bringing it to my attention every day... and by having it in my awareness I will be looking for things to be different... and where our attention goes, things follow.

Once I attached my spinning brain back into its designated location in my head, I continued reading... only to be spun up again!

We can actually be the kindness towards us that we always hoped someone else would be willing to be towards us. When you're willing to be it for you, when you're willing to demand it for you, the world follows suit.

Day 45: Surprise!

So last night, my co-worker and amazing massage therapist, Sherri mentioned something to me about something called "Access Bars" and she didn't know much of anything about it except a client of hers had mentioned it and there was a class on this being taught today at 10am... and for some reason (that I still can't understand) I decided that it sounded like something I would want to go to with her...????  So I went to my mom's for dinner last night and mentioned that I was thinking of taking a class on "the bars" to her and my mom and I googled it and found a little bit of information and yet, my mom was like, "Yeah, I think I want to go tomorrow also."  ????  

So at 8:30 this morning I call my mom and in a groggy voice (because it is way before 11am), I asked, "So are we really going to this weird thing??" and she said (in an equally groggy before 11am voice), "I don't know. You decide."  Ugggghhh... "I have no idea why but let's go.  Pick me up in 45 minutes." So we head to the address and it's a damn good thing that we ran into Sherri in the parking lot because I would have told my mom to keep on driving...

The class was being held at Affordable Burial and Cremation. 

OMG?!?!?  WTF?!?!?!  

I have to be honest. It took me a good 3 hours to set down my judgements and get past the fact that this class was being held at a cremation station. My mom and I could NOT stop laughing at the sheer oddness of our day. The night before we had never even heard of this and now we are taking a class to learn this protocol with caskets in the adjoining room! BWHAHAHAHA!  :D

But by the end of the day, I was super thrilled I took the class. I think my mom got a lot of healing from the protocols and I learned a new technique to do to any clients who would like to receive Access Consciousness- The Bars.

Some days are full of one surprise after the next.... And if we can just keep moving forward and actively suspend judgements (even in a cremation station massage technique class) we will often find something magical is on the other side of judgement.

Day 44: Familia

Spent the entire day with the familia. It was so incredibly relaxing. I barely got off the sofa! Had so much fun with my goofy little brother. We all spent so much of the day laughing together. We watched The Grinch, twice! Ha! Jim Carrey is the best Grinch ever. 

I got a very wonderful surprise "Merry Christmas " text from a friend I hadn't heard from in a while and that just added even more to an already great day!  So many happy moments crammed into one day.

Life is goooood. 

Day 43: Mitch

One of my favorite people from my past life posted this pic on my facebook page tonight. I busted out in laughter! I'm a huge Mitch Hedburg fan! Direct line to my funny bone, that man has. 

Chillaxin with my fam tonight. Sending each and every one of you big hugs. Cheers! 

From Me to You

For all of you out there...

A pick-you-up....
Squeeze-you-tight...
Spin-you-around...
Make-you-giggle...
Kind of hug...  <3

Day 42: Blessed

Today (and many, many other days) my happiness happened when I walked into "work". Yes, I have to put silly ol' quotation marks around that word because work has such a negative connotation.  "Ugh, I have to go into work." That is such a common phrase. I do not feel like I "work".  I get to spend my hours massaging people and making others feel relaxed, recharged, and happier. What a gift! And on top of that I get to do that at a wonderful place, full of wonderful people. I am so lucky that I get to walk into "work" and am greeted (every, single time) with smiles and hugs. Sometimes, I'm extra lucky and it takes me extra long to get back to my room to set my stuff down because there is a Hug Train. I don't know many individuals that get hugged by every co-worker each time they get to work... and at the end of a day (busy or not) every one is hugged good-bye. And get this! The hugs and smiles are sincere... no kidding. Genuine hugs hello and goodbye.

I am one lucky, lucky kiddo to be welcomed, so wholeheartedly, into the Collins' world. That is fo sho!

Day 41: Room for the unexpected

Winter Solstice. Longest night of the year. Tonight also happened to be a New Moon. I just love celestial line ups. Makes things feel extra special... 

Today I was lucky enough to be invited to a friend's house to eat her food!  :)  Scrumptious baked potato soup for lunch followed by home made cookies. What a friend to have!  Her house was full of animals too, so I got my dog and cat snuggling fix. Always a good thing. 

This evening, to celebrate the Solstice, I went on a spontaneous 2.5 mile late night hike through snow covered trees. Freshly fallen snow covered the ground and the low cloud coverage made for a hike with no flashlight necessary. It was magical. On the way back to the car I was lucky enough to be serenaded by an owl! Magic on top of Magic! It was the first owl hoots I've heard in Alaska and it made my heart smile. I was glad a last minute hike was enacted or I would have missed out on the owl's song.

Day 40: Interactions

This video is fantastic!! I can not stop laughing! :D 

I really enjoy videos that show strangers interacting with one another. Our media can cause us to think that interacting with ones we don't know can lead to all sorts of negative incidences... I love when non-media videos show the exact opposite. We humans are complicated, complex, messy creatures... But I think a lot of that has to do with really just being scared of the unknown. And strangers are unknown to us... Only one way to change that! 

And this kid pulled a unique twist to that step.... Narrating strangers! Love this!!!

And I really like his voice! Added bonus.  :)

Day 39: Lesson Learned

Since I've been in the "Get out of my Comfort Zone" mode for however long now... I figured I'd give something else a go. Today I decided to give morning yoga a try. Let's back up... So last night, I went and had tea with a friend. Yes, it was herbal tea with zero caffeine because I act like a crack head when I drink caffeinated beverages. The conversation was light and fun and while asking for a refill on hot water, the tea guy (?) jumped in on the bubbly convo and pulled us right into a trap! He was hell bent on making us 3 samples of green tea, "to expand your horizons and leave you with an unforgettable experience in a cup of tea"... Who could turn that down?? And let's be honest, we don't always make the best choices in the middle of a Fun High... so when Caleb (the tea guy (?)) brought out three different cups of green tea, I willing had my share of tastings... Yes- I was up til at least 2:30 this morning and had already planned my early morning yoga excursion. 

I am proud to say I actually did get up this morning! I forced myself, begrudgingly, out of bed and walked my sleepy butt into a delicious 105 degree room. 90 minutes later, I was convinced that 8pm yoga is really my cup of tea ;)

I had just enough time to scarf down a cup of oatmeal before heading to Kung Fu class... I quickly realized that my usual order of Fu in the noontime and yoga at night was definitely the way to go... too friggin late now! Class was brutal. My body was freezing. My muscles were defiant. My stomach was starving. The Beast was not satiated by my meager attempt with the oatmeal. Never, ever a good thing. It was a rough class.

I am so happy to be curled up in bed with rest and recuperation in my immediate future. Sometimes happiness is falling into bed... after a long day of doing things in the wrong order. Lesson learned! 

Day 38 of Happy: Insights

This article "What it Means to Have the Heart of an Empath" is like a window into my soul... Wow!! Have you ever read something and thought "Is this me writing to me??" cause damn! That just happened. Some lines summed me up so perfectly it was like someone was writing down a description of me for me to see:

'You enter rooms filled with strangers and feel suffocated by the invisible sparks of electricity flickering in the air.'

'No one has ever done you wrong, no matter how bad the crime, without you [taking the time to] understanding why they did so.'

'Everyone and everything has a story you’re dying to memorize.'

I believe this wholeheartedly! I love getting to know people. I love learning their story. It might be one of my most favorite things in life. I find it fascinating what words people use when talking about their lives (I used lives on purpose. Some people believe they've lived numerous lives... and other people have lived many lives within this one life). I feel like if there is ever a misunderstanding between two people, if each of them would sit down with the intention of actually hearing what the other person is saying (and not sitting down to make the other person understand their side of the story), then a lot could be accomplished! 

"When we reveal more, we have less to hide. When we have less to hide, we are less worried about being found out. When we are less worried about being found out, we can pay better attention to someone else. In this way, telling the truth makes intimacy and freedom possible." ~ Radical Honesty

Day 37: First Step

Stepping outside of our comfort zones can sometimes lead to awesome "high on life" moments! Tonight I went to my first Israeli Krav Maga class: "Battle-tested and street-proven, Israeli Krav Maga is the Israel Defense Force's official self-defense and close-quarters-combat system developed for pure survival"... http://www.israelikravmagaalaska.com/

Sounds crazy intimidating, right?!?!?! I have never been to a self-defense class before, let alone a close-quarters combat system class... yipes! What the heck am I thinking? I was so incredibly nervous. I was picturing a class full of testosterone pumped men eager to beat the pulp out of the punching bag. *gulp* If you feel up to it, Google Krav Maga and watch a couple youtube videos. They will scare the crap out of you! Well, that's what happened to me, at least.

Last week, I had mentioned the class to one of my friends in my Kung Fu class and he totally talked the Krav class up and said that I would totally be able to handle it... So with that little nudge of encouragement... and the "I'll come too!" from three other friends, I had the support system I needed to make the important step: the first one.

I let the "I got yo back!" voice in my head remind me that if I just take the steps to try out something new, then I can consider myself a success. I enjoy that voice so much more than the "what are you thinking? you're not good enough" punk that shows up at extremely inopportune times.

So with my encouraging internal voice, my friends to meet me there, and a big breath of courage I walked into my first Krav class. What a surprise! The two hours flew by!! I thoroughly enjoyed it and learned a ton. The instructor was awesome. There wasn't a single testosterone laden man in the room. In the first class, I learned very practical and effective methods and feel more confident in close quarters with someone and more grounded in myself.

Now this is the part where I get a little caught up in expressing via words things I have a hard time even explaining in my own head... but I shall do my best to express how I felt after class tonight. Bear with me....

I'm fairly speechless and pretty surprised that I could feel so different after just one class. I had to keep checking in with myself, like, "Are you seriously feeling more self-confident or are you just crazy?" (That might be the 'asshole' voice asking the questions).... :)

After class I definitely had a "high on life" feeling. I felt very centered within myself. I felt a new feeling of self-confidence... different then I've felt before. I felt like I could speak more directly and more self-assuredly than usual. Well, bluntly put, I guess I felt like a bad ass! :)  ...  And that was after just one class. I'm not saying I was out looking to pick fights to try out my techniques by any stretch of the imagination. HA! I was just amazed that I could feel so centered within myself after just 2 hours. I'm not even sure what we did in class that triggered this shift. I don't know if some hormones were initiated based on some of the moves or if it was a fluke. All I know is that I am proud of myself for taking a leap into the unknown and I am happy that I really enjoyed the class! Already looking forward to my next one! :)

Day 36: Unity

I truly enjoy the camaraderie that is starting to really take form in my kung fu class. It's taken a bit to really become noticeable but over the past couple weeks, a shift is definitely occurring. It is always so nice to walk into a room and feel genuinely greeted by others, especially when that room is where you're going to get your ass kicked! :)

I definitely find it intriguing how each unique energy brings a new dynamic to the class. I feel like we're starting to know each others strengths and weaknesses. In a martial arts class, one might expect there to be a lot of competition... I find it extremely refreshing that in this group, that isn't the case. We are becoming aware of each person's weaknesses and it seems like the group, as a whole, is supportive opposed to competitive. Last week I noticed that there were significant chunks of time where it felt like we were all moving as one unit. The energy in the room felt very unified and cohesive. On certain days, it seems like if one of us is having a really sluggish, rough class, we all are. Is it possible that our energies are synching up and we all arrive to class in a depleted energy state, even though our lives are all very different outside of class? I don't know...

I'm not sure I have ever experienced a group dynamic like this before. I don't know if it's a martial arts thing or if it just happens to be this particular group of personalities that have migrated to the same space and time each week, but I am really enjoying it.

Day 35: Direction

 You know life is heading in the right direction when this is a gift from a friend. I think maybe someday I'll be able to call myself a runner! Especially if my friends are already thinking it... talk about support!

The past two years have definitely rocked my world... and I can't honestly say, "Oh yes! I am so thankful and happy to have gone through that shit storm"... But I do know that I am stronger and a different person then the girl I was before the shit storm... and I can honestly say, "Yes, I am thankful for where I am in this moment." I enjoy using my body in ways I never imagined I could... and I am reallllly looking forward to becoming even more comfortable in my new life.... and the thought of being able to someday say (and feel) "Yeah, I'm a runner" is pretty exciting.  :)

Day 34: Belly laughs

Today was a mellow day. I appreciate these days so much now that I seem to find myself ALWAYS doing something... I met up with my mom and brother for lunch and we were all a bit on the grouchy side. Life's been a real kick in the ass for my mom this month and our Christmas spirit is definitely on Level: Grinch. After eating, my brother and I headed to a nursery to smell Christmas trees to lift our spirits.... ha! We had zero intention of buying a tree but it did smell absolutely divine in the green house and the trees were so soft. We had a blast making each other laugh as we walked through the rows of trees. I love this kid.

Do you happen to have a few specific people in your life that seem to have a direct line to your funny bone?? Now, as most of you know, I am a person who can definitely let out a few laughs, ok ok... I laugh a lot. Who am I trying to kid??? But there is a particular type of humor that really makes my laughter come from the bottom of my soul... I was lucky enough to have a good handful of those laughs today, as well. It just might have helped this Grinch's heart grow two sizes... maybe......  ;)

Day 33 - That's My Jam!

Day 33/100... As a side note, 33 happens to be one of my favorite numbers so there's a side dish of happy for you. :)

My shout out today goes to music… What would life be like without music?! It fascinates me how music can have such a drastic effect on our moods! It also amazes me how a song can be powerfully connected with a memory and how with the first four beats at the intro of a song, you can find yourself in high school all over again. I have some songs on my playlist on my phone that I can listen to 30 times in a row and others I skip regularly but never actually remove them cause sometimes I'm in the right mood for that one specific song.

Tonight I will share with you my current top four songs. I was introduced to Trevor Hall about a year ago and am not sure how I lived my previous 30 years without him in my life!! He is my most favorite singer ever. I feel like his music has a direct link to my soul and takes me to a different place and I am so thankful for his magic.

The first video is a song called Chapter of the Forest… There are certain lyrics in the song that say Hara Narmada. Hara is translated as 'hail' and Narmada is a river in India. To me these lyrics are saying 'Honor the essence of the river'.... 

The second video is also by Trevor Hall and it is called Te Amo.... I absolutely love the acoustic version of this song. 

The third one is a more upbeat song by Clean Bandit called Come Over. It makes me jam out in my car every day. :) I also totally jam out to the last song too! It's called Jubel by Klingande...  I love a song that makes me move beyond my control. 

I hope you enjoy them as much as I do! 

Day 32/100 Kung Fooey!

Today I had an extra long Kung Fu class... Instead of 1.5 hours, it was 3 hours long!!  Not gonna lie, I was a bit anxious about how I would hold up. A buddy in class told me that since today was the final, I would be graded on how hard I worked from the very beginning. "Don't take it easy because it's a 3 hour class. Give it your all starting at minute 1." Crap.

So starting with minute 1, I was determined to do the best I could until the last minute ticked by. It's amazing what a determined mindset will give you. I did better in this class then I've done in any other. I didn't rest during the 150+ leg lifts, I finished first in the sprints at the end of the 'warm up', and I had a blast during the sparring and take down exercises. The three hours flew by and at the end, I was bummed it was over. I think some endorphins musta kicked in on hour 2.5 as well, because I have been full of energy and happiness the reminder of the day and I wish all the class could be 3 hours long. 

What is happening to me?!?!?? Hahahaha!

Day 31/100

So this post may seem a bit bass ackwards... But I had a major melt down during lunch today. Ladies out there should understand, not sure about the fellas... But there are times when I can tell that a necessary melt down is approaching.... I think the combo of yoga last night and a stenuous kung fu class and a friend genuinely saying, 'So what are you thinking?' was the catalyst for the melt down.

I was trying so hard to work through my stuff without melting this time. Fail. Ha! It was so nice to hear some validation from my friend too. "Well, Chels... That's some big stuff. Why didn't you call me sooner instead of stock piling all of this?" Mainly cause I feel like a big baby and I should be able to not be effected. "Um, you are human. And that's some big stuff, silly."

Whew. Maybe I'm not such a big baby after all?

Yes, I am aware that this is a happiness post.... I'm rounding my way there. :)
So after my super silly sob session over sushi, I have to admit that I felt very happy to have a friend who was available for an impromptu melt down.

Sometimes we don't realize the load we are carrying until we find a safe space to start setting stuff down.

Day 30

Day 30/100 of Happy

A yoga teacher that can make you laugh... when you are sweating buckets in 105 degree room, it is awesome when the mood gets lightened because the teacher isn't afraid to crack a few jokes and get the whole class laughing. Makes the stinging from the sweat in your eyes lessen a little, too.

Tried a new Bikram class tonight and was thrilled at the new teacher. Her energy was upbeat, she strayed from the script enough to throw a few jokes around, and she even turned on the fans for a few minutes! 

Why Trust is Worth It

I have watched the video below a handful of times over the past year. It brings up so many good points. 

Trust is defined as this:

: to believe that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc. : to have confidence in (someone or something)
: to believe that something is true or correct

: to hope or expect that something is true or will happen

For some reason I feel like...

: Terrifying

...should be added to list above.  :)

Every single person on this planet has had their trust tested. For some, that is a continuous lesson throughout their life.

In some ways, I feel like trust is the undercurrent of all of life. In practically every moment, we are asked to trust. We trust our feet to carry us where we need to go. We trust our vehicles to get us from point A to point B, safely. We trust airplanes and buses and boats. We trust the food that is placed before us, the water we put in our bodies. We trust our business partners, our friends, our family. We have to trust ourselves. And trust in life itself.

We learn who can be trusted... and who can't be trusted. And even some of those who can't be trusted, we continue to try to trust them again and again and again... sometimes. 

But what a precarious balance we have to find with someone. It's like this slow unfolding of ourselves. We have so many different types of relationships in our day to day lives. Who are the lucky ones that we actually let way in? I've had a lot of conversations regarding this topic, because as some of you know, I'm not one for small talk. I like to get to know someone, the real person behind the "Oh, isn't this weather great" front we all have to wear around. A lot of these conversations have a very similar theme. Most people feel that they have to put up a front when getting to know someone. "If I wear my heart on my sleeve, I will get hurt." "Someone needs to earn my trust. I'm not going to give it to them willingly. I don't want to be hurt."  "It's safer to keep my guard up for awhile until I really get to know someone. Then I might let it down, one brick at a time."

I have to start by saying, I totally understand why people feel this way. I have definitely been through the Hard Knocks my fair share of times. And yet... something about this doesn't make sense to me. If everyone is walking around with their guard up, expecting everyone to hurt them... then how is anyone getting to know anyone?  I think each new moment with someone, whether we've known them 10 minutes or 10 years, is an opportunity for us to decide to be open. To trust.  It is a constant choice we get to make. There are absolutely no guarantees in life about not getting hurt by someone. Even if you have known the person for 10 years, the possibility of things shifting is always there.

I guess I'm kind of a weirdo. I think I approach relationships, of all natures, knowing that the chances of feelings getting "all shook up" are about 100%. If trust is established quickly, and I am me from the get go, well then when things get all shaky, we can approach the topic and move through it because a solid foundation of authenticity has been laid. And if things just can't be worked through, because sometimes that is life's lesson as well, then at the end of the relationship (be it business, friendship, romantic, ect), the interaction will have at least been real. It will have been full of feelings and the juiciness of life.

There is something spectacular when you are standing at the precipice of Something in Life and you look to the person next to you and say, "I'll jump, if you jump."   Or you are about to make a big change in your life and you look to Life and say "I'll jump, if you jump".     Is that a terrifying place?? Absolutely!

But I guess that's my answer to Why Trust is Worth It..... because that is where life is Fully Lived.

Day 29 Small Stuff

Day 29/100 of Happy

Sometimes it's the small things in life that create so much happiness... actually often it's the small things in life that we just don't give enough credit to. But I guess that is what this Happy Awareness thing is all about. It makes you pay attention to things that make you happy and often it's the littlest of things.

I'm a total sucker for thoughtfulness. Like "Ice or no ice in your water?"  or "Let me get that door for you" or "I know you like honey, would you want that or syrup?" or someone taking a split second out of their day to give you a compliment. A random smile from a stranger. Telling someone your head is hurting and a few moments later they come back with something to help it. When someone takes time out of their day to send you an email or a text saying "I'm thinking of you" (We often use a variety of different words to express that simple fact-- you crossed my mind and I am sharing it with you by sending this silly sentence which has the underlying message of "i care about you").

Being a massage therapist, I spend my days caring for others. I would have it no other way. I absolutely love taking care of others. Maybe that is why I am such a sap for being taken care of.

I think we all have a place in our hearts that fluctuates from full to empty and that is based on how well we are cared for, by ourselves and by others. We have to charge that battery of ours to keep it going so we can help others. When a person does something thoughtful for me, I can literally feel that little reservoir in my heart start to fill up...

So many little moments we let slip by... unless we choose to hold on to them and we take that split second Moment of Caring from Someone and make it a moment that can last for days, allowing it to continually charge up our reservoirs.

Pay attention today and see if you can take a Moment of Caring from Someone and stretch it out beyond that few seconds in time... see if you can feel that little meter in your heart rise up.   :)

21-28 Days

I am totally slacking here! Eeeeeks! Here's another quick update on the 100 Days of Happy...


Day 21/100 of Happy...

Sometimes in life there are unexpected moments of peace, like you are being hugged by an all encompassing presence.

There are no words capable of expressing the gratitude I feel today. There is only love.<3

Day 22/100...
Sleeping in! Oh gosh it feels amazing to sleep in. Waking up and thinking, "ah, I can go back to sleep".... Happy happy happy

I have been pushing myself pretty damn hard lately... so much Fu, and Yoga, and Dancing, and Running.... Sleep has been getting a backseat and MAN did it feel good to catch up....

Day 23/100... Happy
Interstellar = Mind BLOWN!!!!!!!!!

This movie seriously left me speechless... I wound up taking my mom and brother to it two days later. I have never been able to watch a 3 hour movie practically two days in a row and not get bored the second time through. I could go on and on about this movie but I reallllly don't want to wreck it for anyone who hasn't seen it. GO SEE IT!  :)

Day 24/100 of happiness
Authenticity. There is something wonderful about being around people who are truly themselves. No explanations, no masks, no excuses. There is a comfort that shows up when you are around someone who is completely comfortable with who they are and has no trouble showing that to the world. It is such a gift.

Day 25/100 of happiness...
I heard from my good friend Travis this morning and it made me happy! ... Even though he work me up by calling at 4am. True Travis Brown style.... Nothing's changed after all these years.....  :)

Day 26/100....
The love from a dog is unlike anything else. It doesn't even have to be your own dog, either. Pure, open, unconditional love from a random dog along a hiking trail lifts my already happy mood. Sometimes I wish we greeted other humans the way we can greet a dog.
There I was, hiking along a trail and up ahead I see a big fluffy black dog bounding towards me. I immediately stoop to my knees and welcome this big beautiful creature into my arms and smile and giggle and receive all kinds of love and happiness back.
 

Day 27/100 of happiness...
A friend let me use his Thermacare Heat Wrap before Kung Fu today, because it didn't fit him, and it was like a long consistent hug!!! I can't believe I've lived in AK all these years and haven't used these bad boys. So warm and cozy! Makes life better. I was so bummed when it ran out of heat. It was like my hug turned off.

Day 28/100 of Happiness...
Unexpected re-connections. People in our lives are constantly shifting, moving closer and further as if with the tide. It's always a nice surprise when a quiet connection with someone is opened again... Even if it's brief.
Sometimes it can feel like two ships in the night... But that momentary re-connection is sometimes all we need.

15-20 Happy Days

My world has become so incredibly busy! I barely have enough time to post my Happy Challenge Posts on Facie, let alone post them here too. So this is a cram sesh for those of you who are reading this and aren't on Facebook too.....

15/100... Happy
Familiar faces make me happy. It is so nice going into a new place and seeing a familiar face.... The comfort that overcomes the insecurity of being out of a comfort zone.

Day 16/100...
Goofing around with friends and making people laugh is always the best part of any day! I was fortunate enough to have this opportunity multiple times today. So much laughter!

Day 17/100 of Happy...
I love having running partners!! I did not want to get out of bed this morning and I knew that my running partners would be bummed if I did not show up… So it motivated me to get my butt out of bed… And we ran 4.3 miles again, up and down hills and it was beautiful outside!

Day 18/100... Happy
10 minute power naps, accompanied with cranial.... Wow! What a recharge! Round 2 of today, bring it.

Day 19/100...
Happiness is feeling exhausted from the core out and having the opportunity to sleep. I'm not sure when I was this tired and I can actually feel my body absorbing and recharging while I sleep. It is a magical feeling.

Day 20/100.... Happiness
Today my happy moment involved crawling back into bed this evening. I felt completely wiped out all day today... I guess my day of sleeping yesterday wasn't enough recovery time from the crazy busy week I had. Pushing ourselves beyond our limits is always gratifying... and the well deserved rest is sooooooo wonderful.



There has been so much dancing this past week!  I noticed today at Kung Fu that I think these two can go hand in hand. (haha pun maybe intended)..... 

My Television Debut

Beginning, Middle, and End.  :)

14 and counting...

The past couple days got a bit crazy and although I didn't have time to sit in front of my computer, I was still thinking about the Happiness Challenge...

So we're back on track with day 14/100.

One of my favorite things is having a juicy conversation with someone. A conversation that feels effortless and by the end of it you feel like you've learned so much about the other person and yourself. It's a beautiful thing to watch someone as they figure out how to express themselves. In those moments of silence, you can see the thoughts behind their eyes. You can see their internal conversation by the movement of their eyebrows or slight deviations in their cheeks. "Oh, that was a happy thought... oh, now they are somewhere else, somewhere deep."

There are definitely times when we aren't even sure how we feel about something until we have expressed it out loud for someone else to hear. I know I have had many moments where I will be trying to express myself and once I get in the groove, words flow from me that I have never spoken nor consciously thought before and when I finish my line of thoughts I am amazed to hear what I said.

Listening is such an important part of having a conversation. Majority of people are really good at talking... but becoming a good listener takes a conscious effort. At the end of a juicy conversation where both people are great listeners and both people expressed themselves fully and honestly, there is a beautiful peace and a closeness and sometimes great relief.

I am a sucker for a good round of communication.

Lucky 13

13/100 Days of Happiness

Today's post gets summed up in one word:  Honored.

Language can be so very limiting sometimes, well, most of the time. Honored is the closet word I could come up with for the feelings I had today that made me very, very happy.  I was incredibly fortunate today to receive gifts from someone.  These weren't gifts of any sort of material substance or monetary value. To some, they wouldn't even appear as a gift.

I started my morning off by having a friend share with me stories from their soul. I do not know if the words they shared with me have been seen by anyone else. I was completely captivated and amazed at the raw beauty that was expressed. I do not know if there is any greater honor than to have someone open up their soul and say, "Look at me, in all my humble humanness, my wounds, my sad places that bring me tears and nightmares. Please let me share this with you." Now that is a gift. It is also a gift within a gift... for in that moment, I am given the opportunity to open up my soul and welcome someone in and be fully present with a very special aspect of that person. I think all of us want someone to see us. To see us in all of our imperfections, our wounds and the places we hide from even ourselves, sometimes. In that space, when we are seen and the other person doesn't judge and doesn't leave us alone, great, great healing happens. Our dark spaces become filled with the light of another and we realize love can exist where we once thought we were unlovable. Both people are affected by the opportunity of being exposed. Both people receive healing.

I am extremely happy and filled with honor to receive these gifts today. Thank you from the center of my heart.

Day 12 of Happiness Posts

Comfort zones..... soooo very comfortable. Wouldn't you agree? Familiar. Safe. Dependable. Deceptive... oooo, didn't see that one comin', did ya?  Comfort zones are soooo very deceptive. We think they are safe because they are familiar and dependable but they will keep you from experiencing life to the fullest!

A friend of mine has been asking me to go to salsa lessons with her for months. I've accepted the offer a couple of times and backed out at the last minute... I've flat out said no... and I've responded, I'll think about it....

I have tried salsa lessons a couple of times in the past and did not enjoy it. I felt awkward, like I had two left feet, and no rhythm. I didn't want a bunch of creepy dudes trying to get all close and weird with me. I didn't want to feel uncomfortable. I'll stay in my safe, familiar, comfort zone. Thank you very much.

Well, persistence pays off... I finally accepted her offer for real tonight. I showed up a little later than I said I would... I had to drag myself out of my car.... and force one foot in front of the other as I walked to the door. I didn't want to be there. I was immediately asked by three guys to dance and I laughed and graciously replied no. Hahaha.... but once again, persistence pays off. After about 7 songs, gracious laughter and gentle no's, I finally had to cave. I mean, I did come to a place where every single person was dancing. Comfort Zone was tied up in the backseat of my car anyways by this point.... here goes nothing.

I danced for two hours straight! I couldn't stop dancing! Did I step on toes? Did I look like I had two left feet? Did one person say, "Wow, it's like dancing with a Laugh Track."? The answer to all of those is YES.   I did have to ask the guy, "What's a Laugh Track??"  He replied, "You know in older sitcoms where they would 'cue' the laughter..."  ohhhhhhhhh.  Cue: Laughter.  hahahahah! 

By the end of the night, I think I was getting it down. I mean, I was never short a dance partner, despite the toe crushing moves I was busting out. And I was told a few times, You've got it (and at that precise moment I would lose it)... but hey! Cue: Laughter.  Keep on, keepin on! 

I'm already looking forward to next Friday night! When I made it back to my car, I noticed that Comfort Zone was no longer tied up in the back seat.... but was greeting me smiling in the front seat, a little bigger than I remembered.

I Love Being a Woman

Sometimes it can be a bit rough being a girl... we feel soooooooo much. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

One minute I am sitting in my room, all alone, laughing out loud while watching this.....

And the next minute I have tears streaming down my face as I read this and watched the video at the end:

This husband hired 23 artists to make the perfect birthday present for his wife
http://www.boredpanda.com/23-artists-recreate-family-photos-ernst-berlin/

Love is contagious...

Day Eleven... Happy!

11/100 Days of Happiness...

Oh BOY! Soooo today I am having a heckuva time picking which happy moment to write about! Wowza!! I think I was pretty much happy from the time I crawled out of bed until this very instance! (I'm actually sitting here with a big ol smile on my face)... Today was magical... for no particular reason. I was just buzzzzzing all day. I had two amazing mind blowing realizations today,  one was with a client of mine and the other was a reading at the end of yoga class tonight... I think they will eventually be blog posts once I process them fully... :)

I am soooooo glad I made myself go to hot yoga last night. Today's kung fu class, while still a whooping, was significantly better because my muscles were much more relaxed, even though I worked them out last night. There's some thing about the hot room that does wonders to muscles.

I headed to lunch afterwards and an eight minute slot out of 24 hours gets the shout out of the day!
I was sitting there eating with my friend and realized that the song that was playing over the speakers was totally making me jam out. I couldn't stop dancing. I was like, "Gosh, I like this song!" and he replied, "Yeah, I can tell. You haven't stopped dancing this entire time."

Shortly after that the song came to an end.... AND THEN REPEATED!!! I was like "OHH NO WAY!!!!" How awesome is it when your jam is on repeat!?  And it was just a glitch in the matrix because at the end of the second time through it moved on to another song. I was supppper happy.  :D Sometimes it's the little moments, that we just don't give enough credit to... I even looked at him and was like "This is TOTALLY my happy moment of the day post".... (I just didn't realize how great the rest of the day was going to go!) But in the end, the small moment wins the spotlight.

Watch out though!  This song will make you groooooove. I can not keep my shoulders still while it's on. HA!

10 out of 100... Happiness Challenge

Each evening I sit myself down in front of this computer and I go like this, "hmmmmm what was my happy moment today????" It usually takes me a good 15 minutes to figure out what the heck to write about. It's like I mentioned yesterday. There may be a lot of happy moments through out the day but figuring out why they were 'happy' and then summoning the words to express it, well, it's sometimes quite the challenge. I mean, I kinda laugh a lot (for those of you who know me... you'd agree, right???)... but picking a moment of laughter throughout my day and explaining why I was laughing takes things to a whole new level.... And then there is the realization that not every happy moment involves laughter. There are all kinds of levels of happiness. Gee... am I taking this too far??

Oh well....   :)

Yesterday (yes, I promise my happy moment of the day wasn't from yesterday. I get that negates the point of 100 days of happiness... just bear with me)... at the end of Kung Fu class, Shifu said something along the lines of, "When your body is completely exhausted and you are feeling utter fatigue, that is when you find out how strong you really are."

I woke up this morning with those words rattling around in my head and they have bounced around in my mind all day. (I've also had two very awesome songs stuck in my head all day too... Only Love by Ben Howard and Unsteady by X Ambassadors for those of you who are interested) :)

There is something in that phrase above that brings me deep happiness (ahh, and that's where the levels of happiness comes in, see what happened there?), profound peace, and a sense of power. At the end of any struggle, our greatest moment is when we get to look back at what we went through and we realize, I had the ability to keep going, even when all odds were against me and I didn't think I could make it, when everything in me was exhausted beyond reason, something in me kept going. 

We are always getting stronger.

I made myself go to hot yoga tonight... the 95 degree room felt like a welcomed hug when I first walked in... by 9:15 I was a pile of sweat. (Ironically I sweat way more in 95 degree classes then 105 degree classes... odd fact of the day???? Maybe I'll start that challenge come day 101 of this challenge... )... I digress...  There were a lot of moments with my eyes full of sweat and my muscles quivering when I was so thankful to have that thought rattling around... when you are feeling utter fatigue (and your eyes and ears are full of sweat), this is when you find out how strong you really are...

 You're welcome to let that thought rattle around in your brain tomorrow. Let me know how it goes.  :)

Day Nine

Day 9/100.... Happiness... 11/11 (my favorite day of the year!)

Today was a big day, well, for me. As I sat down to write my daily Happy commentary, I had zero idea how to actually express my happiness today. A client asked me today why I decided to do this and I told her the truth. I was typing it out on Facebook before I even knew what I was doing. I even thought to myself, "Well, crap. Now I have to follow through for the next 100 days. Great."  I also explained to her that initially I was focusing on things I was thankful for, and realized that being thankful and feeling happy (although usually fall in the same space) are actually two different emotions. It's been an interesting week and a half of actively focusing on moments where I am happy. That specific emotion... and then I have to communicate what it is I am happy about. Not always the easiest of tasks... which is a great segue into my Happy Ramble of the Day:

Communication. There is something so wonderful, to me, about people taking the time to talk through a misunderstanding. Life is full of feelings (big ones, small ones, fun ones, icky ones)... Life can get messy and confusing, sometimes way more often than we would like! It's always so sad to me when things get a bit cattywhompus and instead of talking about what's gone astray, things just end. I don't like to use the word confrontation, so I'll use the word approach instead. When there is a moment in life when feelings are high and things get off track, I like to approach that situation to seek perspective. I believe that is when really big growth happens, for each person involved. Does it take time and energy to sit down and express yourself and then fully listen to another person and consciously seek to understand them? Heck yeah, it does. But I find it is so so so worth it.

I find enormous happiness in approaching a cattywhompus situation and finding the other person is meeting me half way to talk things through. I already feel like things will be successful when the other person shows up in the middle. I can't talk a misunderstanding out all by myself. The other person always has to show up too. And gee, when they do, we're already half way to a resolution! When both parties show up, magic happens.  It makes life all the more juicy and delicious. Seeking to understand the other person's point of view can always bring an inner peace and a closeness that feels so much better than wondering what could have been....

Today I was lucky enough to be met half way by someone and that makes me very, very happy.  :) 

Inspired Thought

I am reading (more like devouring and studying and re-reading) as many books as I can get my fingers on by the man named Neville Goddard. Here is a paragraph from one of his book titled "Feeling Is the Secret":

'Ideas are impressed on the subconscious through the medium of feeling. No idea can be impressed on the subconscious until it is felt, but once felt -be it good, bad, or indifferent- it must be expressed. Feeling is the one and only medium through which ideas are conveyed to the subconscious. Therefore, the person who does not control their feelings may easily impress the subconscious with undesirable states.
    Control of feelings is not restraint or suppression of feelings... but rather the disciplining of Self to imagine and entertain ONLY such feelings as contributes to your HAPPINESS.
Control of your feeling is all important to a full and happy life. Never entertain an undesirable feeling, nor think sympathetically about wrong in any shape or form. Do not dwell on the imperfection of yourself or others. To do so is to impress the subconscious with these limitations. What you do not want done unto you, do not feel that it is done unto you or another. This is the whole law of a full and happy life. Everything else is commentary.

Every feeling makes a subconscious impression and, unless it is counteracted by a more powerful feeling of an opposite nature, must be epxressed. The dominant of two feelings is the one expressed. I am healthy is a stronger feeling that I will be healthy. To feel I will be is to confess I am not; I am is stronger than I am not.'


Wheweeeee. That is a good one to get locked in. Life would be SO incredibly different if we had so much discipline over our thoughts that we were able to keep negativity in check!

Eight

Day 8/100 at 8:08pm....

Well, today I had quite a few bouts of happiness to pick from (finally!) and as silly as it sounds, now I am finding it challenging to actually put words to any of the moments... let alone, pick one of them to focus and expand upon....

So with that in mind, today I will give a shout out to all the small moments. You know, the one's we often take for granted. A friend's smile, sunshine in the eyes, the excitement of a dog to see you, the laughter of a kid, the coziness of blankets, a great song on the radio, yummy food, a hug, a deep long sigh of relaxation, mom's voice, texts from siblings, advice from friends, resolution in our own thoughts and dreams... so many good moments that equal happiness.

Some days the over riding feeling is happiness... (while others is quite the contrary)... but today seemed to be sprinkled with small but important splashes of happiness and for that, ha, I am happy.

Day 7

Yes, yesterday I was too dang tired to even copy and paste my 'happy' post. So here it is, a day late....

Day 7/100...

Well.... I dig honesty. And in that light, I have to say that my happiness today was found in my imagination. Each time I could check the eff out of the day and daydream, I would be filled with happy thoughts.... And then the day would proceed and I would look forward to my next imagination sesh. Daydreaming is powerful though... Let's us know what we are asking to be brought into our reality. So here's to tomorrow. Cheers!

This past week has been kind of a bear, which I guess was a really good time to start a Happiness Check. I was surprised how annoyed I would get each evening that I had to find something to be happy about and share it. Ha! It made me question if I really am this happy-go-lucky person I think I am... and then the "encouraging" voice inside my head (not to be confused with the 'asshole' who also chimes in more often than appreciated) reminded me that everyone has rough weeks... and this week is a friggin breeeeeze compared to other weeks (ahem, months) I've lived through over the past year! I needed to quit giving myself such a hard time for, oh I don't know, being human and experiencing emotions.

Six

It's that time again... Day 6/100

I am shocked how rocked my body was today. That 4 mile run yesterday kinda took it outta me again today.  I was able to do the massages that I had on my schedule and, yes I'll admit it, crawled into bed at 4:45 .... BUT in my defense, it is winter in Alaska and the sun had set at 4:30 so it felt like it was 7pm.

By the time I had made it into bed I was so thoroughly exhausted that the very thought of moving made me want to cry... And as I lay there melting into the warmth of my covers, I realized something... ....... I was getting hungry.          Nooooooooooo!

I was so incredibly thankful when my mom answered her phone and said she'd bring me food and I was overjoyed when I answered the door and my sweet little brother handed me a sandwich. (It took every last ounce of my energy to get out of bed to answer the door)....

Sometimes it's the small stuff in our days that means so much to our happiness.

Day 5

So for my facebook friends, you may have realized I'm posting there, as well... but adding more detail to my posts here about the 100 Days of Happiness....

Tonight however, I am just too damn tired to add more details... this is a copy and paste from Facie...   :)

Day 5/100 of Happiness:
I awoke on the wrong side of the bed, sore from neck to toes, dragged myself out the door to meet up with my running buddies... Ran in the snow, up and down hills for what seemed like forever............. (I am not a runner. I just started last week and the furthest I ran was 1.5 miles)...
At the end of it, sweaty and breathless, I asked how far we ran: 4.33 miles!!!!!!
Happy Happy Happy! Most I've ever run and there were plenty of hills as well. Woot woot!


Must close eyes and recuperate...

The Number 4

The days are just ticking right along... 4 out of 100.  HA!

So I was laying in yoga class, stretching my kung fu rocked body thinking about what my happy posting would be about tonight... I had come up with a couple different ideas and shifted my thoughts (along with my yoga pose). I was thoroughly hungry (and therefore thoroughly grouchy by then end of yoga class... ironic, I know) and met a friend for dinner (yes, I forewarned about the grouchiness).

Thank goodness the food arrived quickly and the conversation was light and fun. At one moment the word stoic came up in conversation and it was asked, "Is that pronounced like 'stoyik' or stow-ick'?"  And we both agreed it was 'stow-ick'.  I said, "The other way reminds me of a pig noise... stoyik, stoyik" to which he replied, "Yes, indeed. An Icelandic pig; stoyik, stoyik".  I was overcome with full belly laughter and tears sprung to my eyes, my mind's eye filled with the image of an Icelandic pig oinking with an accent. Oh man, I love being filled to the brim with a laugh that comes barreling out in full force and causes the head to tilt back and happiness fills every cell.

Enough said

I feel like these two quotes speak for themselves quite nicely.               Be You. Unapologetically.  Period.

Three it is

Day 3 of 100....

Whew, when I first started this inspired idea (only 3 short days ago), I honestly had no idea how challenging it would be. Granted, my days have been a bit off recently which, I guess, made it the perfect time to start. Laying here in bed, rolling through my day, I pull out all the memories where happiness was hanging out... and once again, they can nearly all be found when I am in contact (via person or text) with my amazing friends. I am humbled by the support group that I have, at all hours of the day or night willing to pick me up, make me laugh, and even call me on my shit. It is truly, truly a blessing.

I am trying not to be redundant and actually come up with a unique happy moment for each 100 days and in that spirit, I would say my next most happiest moment included receiving a massage today! Oh mannnnnnnnn! My body was so sore after yesterday's incredibly strenuous class. I awoke with muscles I've never felt before hollering at me.... I felt miserable and like any attempt to move was going to result in failure. I awoke in a crummy mental place too, feeling plain icky.  :(

I was so incredibly fortunate to get a massage today and am honestly amazed at how much better my muscles feel. I know it sounds silly... I mean, I am a massage therapist and continuously see people with aching bodies (for many different reasons) but I guess it has been a long time since I received a massage with my body in that state and it left me shocked at how effective a massage can be! I find myself giggling out loud at how silly that realization is... and that confirms that it was a good call to give a shout out to massage for Day 3 of Happiness.  :)

Day 2

The Happiness... er, Opportunity.  Well, today it kinda feels like a challenge... I try to keep things pretty easy going on here, ya know, but today included a pretty big disappointment. There's no need for a lot of details. Sometimes those things just get in the way. We've all felt disappointment.... You know, the kind that makes your lips kinda point downwards and you find yourself shaking your head over and over through out the day, sometimes there are tears that well up but you hold them in... taking too many big sighs, trying to just let stuff go... yeah, it was one of those days. I was really thinking something great was gonna take place today and so here it is 30 minutes til midnight with big, fatty disappointment standing in for the 'something great' that was hoped for and I realized, Well crap. I have a 100 days of Happiness to write about and so I better get to it....

So it took me a lot longer tonight to figure out what to share... I had an extremely challenging Kung Fu class today, as well. The most challenging thus far (and that's saying A LOT). My body has felt exhausted and a bit shaky the entire day... but as I sat here and perused over my day, looking for happiness admits disappointment (and I couldn't write about how thankful I am for my friends again, since that was yesterdays happy moment)... I realized that my happiness was found in my overworked, exhausted body. When disappointment looms, and people don't follow through, I am so very thankful for my healthy body and how it showed up for me today. As I stood there with weights grasped in my outstretched arms, in horse stance, for who knows how long, with every muscle in my arms and legs trembling and sweat pouring into my eyes, I felt strong.  With the current feeling of heavy disappointment, it is really great to know that earlier today in a place of pure exhaustion, I felt a deep strength within. And for that I am thankful.

Day 1

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

That is one of my most favorite quotes. It just takes the pressure off and also makes one feel successful for taking that first step towards anything.

Those of you who are also on Facebook may know that I was inspired by a friend of mine to start a 100 Days of Happiness, uh, thing. I don't think it's a challenge. I think it's an opportunity. Each and every day I get the opportunity to think of something that I am happy about... for 100 days! Starting today!

Today I begin my 100 Days with gratitude for friends. Sometimes, maybe a bit too often, we take our friends for granted. I can't even imagine a world with out friends. Our friends are there for us when we're feeling low, they raise us higher when we're feeling great, they remind us of our light when we get clouded over by our own rain clouds. Not only do we have friends, but we get to be a friend, as well. What an honorable title to have:  Friend.

Today I am very, very thankful for all the friends I have, have had, and will someday meet. My closest friends, to my furthest friends and each and every one in between. Friends are the sweetness in life and I am happy to have so many wonderful people that I can call Friend.

So here's to YOU, my friend.  My world wouldn't be the same without you in it!!
And for that, I thank you.

Couldn't help myself...

Oh goodnessss.... I am SUCH a sucker for this kind of thing. As I watched this 7 minute video I felt every cell in my body zing around and I sat here with a big silly grin attached to my face.... and THEN I had to share it with everyone here....


Oh geeeeeeezzzz...

I hope it leaves you feeling all warm and fuzzy on the inside with a goofy grin smeared across your face too!

Your Choice

So I'm sure you've all heard this saying before.... and let's be honest, have probably said it to yourself... once. Ok maybe twice... ok ok.... maybe you haven't even counted how many times you've let your self know that there are things in this world that are too good to be true...

But wait a tick! Who came up with that? Really let those words sink in.  Too. Good. To. Be. True.
 Well that just sucks. Who wants to live in a world where if something is so great then that makes it untrue??

And then you've got this:

So... that puts quite the spin on the ol "too good to be true" saying.... because if you believe that to be true, welp You're Right!  And once again I have to ask... who out there wants to live in a world where that is the case?

I know I don't...

So in this quest of Paying Really Really Close Attention To What I Am Thinking, I've decided that:

 

Now that feels A MILLION times better. You can NEVER have too much of a good thing!?!!  Sign me up to play that game! What a big difference!

But at the end of the day, it's your choice. Which one do you want rolling around in your head?